about some things

About my malaise: as you no doubt know, I lived and taught in Taiwan for a year prior to this, and while the job was at times difficult, I did it while falling in love with the country I was living in, which made the bad parts tolerable and the whole experience quite lovely bordering on amazingly wonderful. And now I’m in China and the words of one of my former coworkers are ringing in my ears. When I told him I was moving to China to teach he only grimaced. “What?” I had to know, “you’ve been there, what’s it like?” “I didn’t like it,” was his diplomatic reply. “It just seems so backwards, especially after living here.” Huh. huh. huuuuh. Yeah, he was right. I think it’s pretty safe to blame to the comparison. If I came straight here from the states, if this was all new and foreign and exciting I might be relishing the very things that grate on me here. Except getting my wallet stolen out of my purse on a very crowded bus. That, I’m inclined to think, I wouldn’t enjoy anywhere. Also, the teaching, which is even less tolerable than it was in Taiwan for reasons I shall save for a later, no doubt very bitchy sounding, blog entry. Almost halfway done, 3ish months until I’m free and traveling southeast Asia with delight… gratification, why must you always be delayed!!!

About my equanimity: a sort of settled-in/resigned sense of life here has washed over me sometime in the recent past. Apparently it takes me about 2 and 1/2 months to get used to life in a third-tier, midsize Chinese city. And, I suppose, some of the more um, ‘eccentric’ aspects of life here are actually now hitting me in a rather amusing and even enlivening sort of way. Basically, I’m now able to appreciate a cab ride of perpetually changing lanes, near-misses and gratuitous speeds. It’s actually sorta fun, once I’ve done it 70 to 80 times I’m no longer gripped with the fear that I’m going to die in a chinese taxicab car crash. I kind of like that I can walk out my door and get a sweet potato and bun filled with unidentifiables. I no longer need to know, what exactly is in there (!?), doesn’t so much matter anymore. I can even almost feel okay about pushing my way onto the bus, it’s ‘me first!’ here, once you’re finally fed up with the only other alternative, that being ‘me last’, of course.

About this blog: I think it kinda sucks, and I think I’m always apologizing for that rather than making it better. So, I apologize for that too. And that’s the end of the apologies! Sheesh! It needs a new look and a new name, so expect those things to happen aaaaany time now…. Also, pictures of the few things of substance I’ve been doing the past couple weeks (yet never manage to write much about, i.e. Taishan mountain, Qufu aka Confucious’s hometown) are forthcoming.

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