So now, on to the next phase: Seoul. I’ve only been here about a month and already it feels like a lifetime of shit has happened. Upon the first bus ride from the airport into the city I felt a wave of familiarity as the aesthetics of asian life returned to my senses. It felt good to be back. “I made the right decision,” I thought. That thought was scratched however, a couple hours later, after finally setting down my 3 heavy-ass bags in a hot, tiny, cockroachy ‘love’ motel that would be my home for the next indefinite period of time. A less-than pleasant surprise after I was assured by the school in pre-departure emails that I would be able to move into my ‘new’ apartment right away. I knew that would be important in making Seoul feel like home, as all my previous asian ESL adventures were accompanied by Josh, which in a way was like having home come with me. This time it’s just me. A weird, foreign feeling, of course compounded by simply being a foreigner in a foreign country, starting out again without any language or any friends or knowledge of what’s what and where’s what and who’s where and why’s how and all that. You get the idea.

Anyway. Long story short I almost came home about 35 times that first week. I missed Josh an incredible amount and felt like I had a made a huge mistake moving here instead of going to Alaska with him. I’m terrible at meeting new people and making new friends. I sometimes think I need a very specific set of circumstances in order to relax and be myself and just enjoy life and people and stuff. Which led me to wonder why the hell I thought I would magically be able to find that in a city this huge and daunting and unwelcoming to those who don’t take the initiative to make themselves feel welcomed. Does that make sense? At any rate, I’m just shy and people sometimes think I’m kind of a bitch when they meet me for no real reason that I can discern except the prejudices we all have about people just from being alive in society and being forced to make decisions about people everyday out of instinct or compulsion or insecurity or whatever. So being aware of that, I saw 10 months of utter loneliness and missing Josh and regretting my decision ahead of me. I knew before I left that the adjustment period would be rough, but I kept thinking, ‘not this rough’ and who knows, if I had had the money for a plane ticket I could quite possibly be in Alaska right now. But I’m not. And I’m not dissecting that decision and thinking about the possibilities and repercussions, nope, I’m not gonna do that. It’s not too late to not do that.

So now it’s the beginning of October and my life feels so vastly different than it did just a couple months ago. It’s weird how blogs used to be little bastions of real, honest, personal writing, and now they feel so, um, I don’t know, calculated I guess. The share vs. the over-share vs. the under-share. I kind of hate blogs that purport to be personal but hint and and dance around the personal stuff that people (okay maybe just me?) actually want to know. However they are public and usually personal shit involves other people’s personal shit and it’s not that cool to share stuff about other people who might not want their shit shared. So, with that in mind, I will say that Josh and my notion of maintaining a long-distance relationship for the long-term with no concern toward depreciation in the quality of our relationship and difficulty we might face, has not worked out as planned. All I can say about the future is: through a pinhole. We’re looking through a pinhole. That’s basically been my mantra since the idea of moving to Seoul by myself first got real and has been ever since, especially lately.

So, now maybe I should make a header: Stuff You Might Actually Care About Regarding Me in Seoul. I can sum things up thus far: I like Seoul! It’s got good and bad, like all cities, but for the most part, it’s pretty damn cool. I mean, it’s big and city-ish. There’s a shitload of conspicuous consumerism and a huge focus on appearance, which really turned me off at first. But through my job teaching adults one-on-one I’m realizing that most Koreans – at least the ones I talk to – are actually really nice, intelligent people. Although they do work too fucking hard. It just seems so tragic to me to live life to work 10-hour days analyzing numbers at a desk to buy a set of frickin Louis Vuitton luggage or whatever, to take to Hong Kong to buy more outrageously priced designer crap. I mean, is that just completely insane to anyone else? Please tell me I’m not alone in thinking that. Anyway. Other than that, and the pushy-ass old ladies, it’s quite a fine place to live, so far. The subway is cheap and convenient. A lot of people speak English. Korean food is awesome, my favorite asian cuisine by far, and it is possible to eat somewhat cheaply, which is becoming easier and more apparent the longer I’m here. There is a strong drinking culture, which I also like. Besides seeing random businessmen staggering home every night as I take the subway home from work, I really only noticed the full force of it last Friday night. This is getting stupidly long so the flash version of the story goes like this:

Last Friday I went out for an abbreviated drink with some co-workers as it was my Saturday to work and if this job is anything, it’s a sleep-sucking split-shift nightmare (I’m actually really annoyed with the job at the moment, but that’s a whole ‘nother entry). So I purposely left early enough to take the subway home, around 12:30. It being the last ride I had to wait forever and then forever some more to change lines. Then it decided to stop running a stop ahead of my stop. No problem, I figured, I can’t be that far from home I’ll just check the map. The map didn’t actually extend all the way to my destination, but somewhat close. So I plotted out what I thought would be the simplest route home and got to walkin. And walkin. And walkin. And not gettin there. And not recognizin’ anything I should have been recognzin’. And walkin some more. And trying to hail a cab but not gettin one because there were about 500 other people trying to do the same thing. At some point I realized that pretty much every single person around me was completely wasted. From the hordes of still-suited business men to university students to high-heeled princesses and their boyfriends. It was kind of surreal. There was a massive fight in the street. There were jolly singing gangs. There were piles of puke. And still, I was walkin. Finally I looked up and saw the noted Hyundai Department store (yes, hyundai sells pillows here, samsung sells leather bags, and dunkin donuts sells bubble tea. It’s different here!), that’s right near my apartment, only I was approaching it from the complete opposite direction I thought I was going. So, basically, I had a long, sober walk home and realized for the first time how drunk everybody (okay, some people) like to get in Korea. It was a fun ‘I’m in a completely different culture’ feeling. I guess that’s the point of that.

So I titled this blog before I wrote it and just realized I haven’t even gotten to the second and third parts yet. Those you’ll just have to guess, or not care about, whatever suits you. I don’t have an actual good camera yet, which is my excuse for not taking any actual good pictures yet. But, these iphone photos will have to do for now. There’s also been the smallish matter of being quite poor in pricey Seoul, which means I haven’t really been able to do that much here (next Monday = first payday = hell yes). That, and getting used to the grueling split shift lifestyle. Anyway. Thanks for reading and come visit me NOW!!! Especially you.

About my equanimity: a sort of settled-in/resigned sense of life here has washed over me sometime in the recent past. Apparently it takes me about 2 and 1/2 months to get used to life in a third-tier, midsize Chinese city. And, I suppose, some of the more um, ‘eccentric’ aspects of life here are actually now hitting me in a rather amusing and even enlivening sort of way. Basically, I’m now able to appreciate a cab ride of perpetually changing lanes, near-misses and gratuitous speeds. It’s actually sorta fun, once I’ve done it 70 to 80 times I’m no longer gripped with the fear that I’m going to die in a chinese taxicab car crash. I kind of like that I can walk out my door and get a sweet potato and bun filled with unidentifiables. I no longer need to know, what exactly is in there (!?), doesn’t so much matter anymore. I can even almost feel okay about pushing my way onto the bus, it’s ‘me first!’ here, once you’re finally fed up with the only other alternative, that being ‘me last’, of course.

About this blog: I think it kinda sucks, and I think I’m always apologizing for that rather than making it better. So, I apologize for that too. And that’s the end of the apologies! Sheesh! It needs a new look and a new name, so expect those things to happen aaaaany time now…. Also, pictures of the few things of substance I’ve been doing the past couple weeks (yet never manage to write much about, i.e. Taishan mountain, Qufu aka Confucious’s hometown) are forthcoming.

Just kiddin!!!

This blog’s got an eight-chambered heart and a double spine. Yeah.

Anyway, in case you didn’t already know, I’ve been living in Jinan, China for the past two months. Since my last entry I’ve finished my contract in Taiwan, traveled all around the island in a “Thank god it’s party!”-fest with Becky and Nemes, flew on over to Hong Kong, traveled through Shenzhen, Guangzhou, Shanghai and settled down here in Jinan for a 6-month ESL contract with Aston. Oh, and become an unapologetic socialist. ha freakin ha. I’m serious.

So I’ve been living in China for a while now and I guess I’ve been avoiding this blog, for reasons I’m not entirely sure of. Maybe I’ve been reluctant to parse my experiences here because they haven’t been entirely good ones. Not that it’s been all bad, but the inevitable comparison to living in Taiwan definitely makes China come up short, way short. I actually miss Taiwan way more than I thought possible. Apparently it got under my skin a lot more than I realized while I was there, as I find myself drifting off, closing myself off to my surroundings and reminiscing about what it felt like to just walk around my neighborhood in Taipei. The tiny details coming back stronger than if I was actually there, netted in the larger context of, well, the best damn country ever. Not that I’ve been to that many other places, but I just feel so damn lucky to have stumbled upon it, so many awesome things about life there. I can go on. But I don’t want to depress myself too much.

I don’t want to bash China either. I’ve had some good times here already. I know I need to start making record of them in some form, so I guess this is it. It’s hard for me to come up with some “china in nugget” bullshit that can accurately and effectively communicate this country and my experience of it so far. Suffice to say it’s extremely large and diverse, so there really is no one experience to be had anyway. This country is fantastic for travel and history. It’s super cheap. It’s very hardworking, tough, motivated. It’s loud, dirty, smoggy, polluted. Going more than 3 seconds without hearing a horn honking feels eerily quiet. It’s stealthily advancing. The government is supposedly building massive amounts of nuclear plants and most of the people have not a clue. Looking out the window on an 18-hour train ride, in the middle of the most rural, most pastoral landscapes, ancient chinese buildings have solar panels on the roof. Fellow teachers have told me that students in their adult ESL classes are very critical of the government. Teachers who have been away just 6 months say that Jinan has changed an amazing amount since they’ve been gone. But, kids still shit on the sidewalk. That I can attest to. In Jinan people don’t see foreigners very often, so it’s quite an ordeal for many of them. Me? I’m a foreigner all the time, so it’s not really a big deal, which creates a bit of a incongruity that is often uncomfortable for me, being the anomaly. I imagine that’s sorta kinda what it must be like to be famous. Remind me never to get famous, and if I do, to dissociate myself from the world because I would go insane if there was no escape from the constant scrutiny. uh *shudder*

Well, I guess I’ve gotten a start here. There’s loads more to say, of course. But I have a photo album on facebook that will tell you plenty. So this is it for now. Does anybody still read this? Just curious. Going to get back to my other pursuits. Besides exploring China, my priority this 6 months is getting my sluggish brain into intellectual shape for my return stateside/gradschoolside. I’m doing that with readings about the anthropological record and socialism. That’s riiiiiight. I also climbed a big famous mountain! Taishan:

Anyway, I just clicked over to my calender to count 9 measly teaching days left and I’m FREE! It’s so far away and so close at the same time. It definitely does NOT feel like I’ve been here for over a year. I sort of can’t even believe that I made it through this whole year as a “teacher.” I mean, really, this whole ESL teaching business is kind of insane. You can’t even really fathom the weirdness of it unless you’ve done it. That’s why dinner or drinks with a bunch of ESL teachers is such an interesting occasion. Nobody else can really understand. From the most disgusting puking tales, to being raided by the cops, to the always elusive escape-from-ESL-land-but-stay-in-the-country-and-make-a-good-living schemes, it is a band of brothers. Just kidding. About the ‘band of brothers’ thing. Never seen the show, but I’ve heard things. And seen bus advertisements and stuff like that.

Anyway! I’m trying to make this passably interesting and I don’t think I’m succeeding with this silly tangents I often get on. So the end of the teaching contract. I made it! I think back to when I first started and had no idea in hell how I was going to face a class of 17 Taiwanese, barely English-speaking, rowdy 4-year olds every day of the week. Let alone teach them something. Looking back on it all from the other side I have no idea in hell how I faced a class of 17 Taiwanese etc etc… everyday. And taught them something. Crazy. Anyway, regardless of how I did it, it is definitely time for a break. This Sunday is our big kindy graduation. I feel that my level of ‘freaking-outness’ is inversely proportional to the CT’s level. Which is to say, I’m actually not that freaked out. It’s kindergarten. They’re kids. I just want them to have fun and be slightly entertaining and cute. Then my last week of teaching and on Tuesday Becky and Nemes will arrive and I’ll be 3 days away from a month of travel and good times. Will keep you posted!

If you would like to see some pictures from when we went river tracing and hiking and saw some macaques click HERE!

Last weekend we made it down to Kenting, the national park at the southernmost tip of Taiwan. Thanks to the High Speed Rail and a speedy bus we were lounging on BaiSha (white sand) beach in about 4 hours. We paid 300NT for a beach umbrella with some chairs, cracked a few beers and spent all damn day relaxing, swimming, napping, sipping beverages and having the best day ever. Around 8 pm the beach emptied out and we set up our tent, then made our way over to the gleaming blue light of the best beach bar ever, where we paid about 400NT for a bunch of drinks and a dinner of vegetable noodles, plus some more pijiou generously shared with us by some Taiwanese businessmen gettin’ funky. We had left all our stuff on the beach with our tent, and at one point Josh asked “do you think our stuff is okay?” to which I replied “if this was anywhere other than Taiwan I might actually be worried about that.” And of course our stuff was fine. Basically no crime, camp anywhere, drink anywhere, friendly pijiou-sharing people, an aversion to tanning resulting in uncrowded beautiful beaches. Yeah, I’m really going to miss Taiwan.

I’m happy and sad we only have about 4 weeks until our contracts are up. But my overriding feeling is definitely excitement to be done teaching and looking forward to a month off with visits from friends and Josh’s family and more adventures, Taiwan-style.

Well, after Saturday it will be over. Then I’m going to see a band play in an awesome, seedy, muraled basement bar called Underworld. And maybe watch the World Cup or something. It’s a big thing, out here in the non-America world.

Then it’s back to the pressure cooker of a kindy graduation play of a higher caliber than I think I’m capable of extricating from myself and a bunch of Taiwanese 4-year olds who just want to laugh and play.

Then a month-long vacation and a visit from friends. Mercifully.

Anyway, the highlights since my last bloggins include a visit from my mom and Beth. Great fun it was showing them around Taiwan and having some new adventures with some people from home. With them we explored much of Taipei, rode the gondola, sipped tea in Maokong, shopped on Jifuen old street, and soaked in Sun Moon Lake and Puli. Photo documentation on facebook can be viewed here.

Sipping tea in Maokong. Photo by Beth.

Next high point was a scooter trip through Taroko Gorge which is absolutely frickin beautiful. It definitely compares to the Grand Canyon in its splendor and beauty. For me it was almost more enjoyable since it was navigable via scooter with the wind in our hair, and we were already at the bottom, no donkey required. And the photo record can be seen here.

Taroko Gorge-ous

After that we were pretty sold on getting our own scooter, as it’s actually the preferred mode of transport in this country. They are EVERYWHERE and as my chinese co-teacher put it “only in Taiwan.” We figured it’s about time to do as the locals do and experience the freedom of travel in and out of Taipei, therefore we are now the proud owners of a 125cc 2000 Kymco scooter. Aw yeah.

Last night was the final page in the book of the last couple months, we saw Peaches play at the Wall. Warning, do not click on that link if you’re easily offended. Example: average Peaches lyric is as follows: f*** s*** c*** c***. See what I’m sayin? But, she’s a feminist badass bitch so ya know. It was a damn good show, she really won me over with her antics. Example antics:

Good times. Really good times. That’s the thing about living here. Everything that’s good is amplified by 1 or 2 decibels on account of it being Taiwan. That’s not something you get at home, it’s being abroad in a very foreign country that makes every day, and almost every thing, an adventure. And, that’s pretty damn awesome. Um, the end.

Back on the rock, we’re now into our second semester of teaching and I must admit I’m really looking forward to being done and rid of this school. Sadly, it has nothing to do with the kids, which are almost without exception awesome and loving and adorable. The school however, just keeps getting more annoying and ridiculous with their demands and expectations. Screw all that. It doesn’t help that Josh and I got jobs teaching in China starting this fall that look to be much much easier and less demanding. We’re going to work either a 3 or 4-day week and have lots of time off to travel around China. We’re going to be living in Jinan, which is frickin huge – bigger than Chicago – yet is a mid-sized city by Chinese standards. It’s a good base for exploring the country since it’s on a rail route which connects Beijing, Shanghai and the West.

Anyway, I finally got to see some damn good local music here in Taipei. One of Josh’s co-workers is in an instrumental, shoe-gazey band that played at a bar called the Velvet Underground. I think it gave me my mojo back. I was seriously missing good live local music. Living away from Grand Rapids has given me much-needed perspective on the things that are awesome about my hometown. So many good local bands is not something to be taken for granted! Neither is a good 8% at Founder’s. Or a big cheesy saucy burrito at the Beltline Bar.

We also went to the lantern festival, which was pretty sweet. People write wishes for the new year on these bigass lanterns and release them into the sky, it is a sight to behold. Especially when they get caught in telephone wires and fall to the ground in a firey ball. But hey whatcha gonna do? Put them out with some water. That’s what.

For your lookin: